florida

made it finally. the weather is rocking. warm and sunny, something I have not experienced for 5 years. tis awesome. The heat washes over you as soon as you step outside of the air conditioned airport. 10pm low 70s . arrived at airport had to wait 3 hours for sissy. didn't realise that she was in a diff terminal. she arrived but her luggage didn't. her flight was 2 hours late out of Montreal almost missed her 2ND flight.. but had to basically fly through the Philadelphia airport if she wanted to catch her connecting flight. She had to do an OJ Simpson Hertz thing.(..old TV commercial where he runs through the airport to catch his flight, not a quick murder and assault thing) .

went to pick up rental car, waited in line for 25 minutes.Floridians are so slow. not laid back but slllllllllllllooooooooooooooow!The car rental man behind the desk is kibitzing, chatting with two posers who had each rented convertibles. Yah, yah I am sorry that you are at the beginning of the crap shift of midnight to 6 am and you would like to be these young swinging guys who have just begun their 2 week babe searching holiday in the sun.And that you think if you talk to them long enough somehow you will magically morph into them and you won't have to ever have to eat a microwave meal for breakfast at 10pm ever again. STOP TALKING!!! I AM TIRED! WE WANT ARE CAR NOW!!!!!!!

Our turn. Okay breathe and pray. Don't get angry. Just hand over the pre paid car rental forms and get out of here. He now has to file the previous customers forms. Shuffle, pause, think. Open desk drawer. Pause, think. Shuffle. close desk drawer. think. look around. ignore us. look in desk drawer again. get pen shuffle back to counter. wait forgot something..turn around before he gets to the counter where we are standing, go back to desk. get stapler out of desk drawer..slower...he is thinking. close desk drawer shuffle up to counter. AAAAAAARGH!

I know he started his day an hour and a half ago but I started out 24 hours ago and my sister has no luggage and SPEED IT UP!! "hello" he drawls."Hello" sissy and I say together. hand over papers. He smiles. "how are you this evening?" there is something about his smile and the speed at which he talks which immediately diffuses our anger and replaces it with teenager giggles. heeheeheehee" fine thank you and yourself?"Pause....."good" Hand over drivers licenses. "which state has the pretty pink license?" "Ah that would be me., heeheehee," blush" UK license." What state is the UK in?" This is going to take longer than I thought. Way longer. "the UK across the Atlantic ocean? England? Scotland? Wales? and Northern Ireland?" Blank stare. Is that near California? pause. "yes I say, between California and Minnesota" if this will speed up the process then I will tell him anything so we can GET OUR CAR and GO HOME!! the laid back- Floridian-happy smile thing is losing its power. We are tired. and sweaty funny though as tired as we were we could not stop giggling.

We have pre-paid for a shoe-box on wheels.A teeny tiny compact. the man behind the desk took a shining to us and offered us a fancy convertible instead. "no thank you "I said" I don't want to be murdered. He then gave us a 'grown up' car. a luxury Cadillac type thing. something a 'pimp' would drive. it is huge. I am mean huge in a bigally way. Real leather not child friendly pleather crap.( see above. couldn't figure out how to move the pic down here)

arrived at hotel and had valet park for us cause we were wiped out at 2:30 am (7;30 am my time). he parked for us but charged us for self park and parked us in self park so yesterday we spent half an hour looking for where our car was parked. oh and p.s. not such a big thing the fancy car. EVERYONE seems to drive the same car in....the same color....at the same hotel.

spent the day at the pool and came back to room and got ready for my brother's arrival.okay so my brother was supposed to arrive at 5pm from L.A. their flight was delayed 5 hours but ended up sitting in the plane on the runway the whole time. By the time they finally took off the four of them were starving. apparently the airline ran out of food the row in front of them. so when they landed 5 hours late all they wanted was food. A slice of pizza ( my sister-in -law's dream food) would have to do cause they wanted their rental car and to get on their way to the hotel. so at the car rental place they were told their car had been given away. My brother had not prepaid, only reserved. they were 5 hours late...and to top that, there are no more cars available anywhere. they hopped in a cab resigned to going back to the hotel and going to bed angry and hungry.

Now for most our lives my brother and I have been playing tricks on each other. He's in the lead, I'm in the lead, he's in the lead.... Here was a golden opportunity. I felt it right, no I felt it my duty, to play a trick on him and put me back in the lead.

I had the hotel receptionist play a an joke........ When I say joke what I mean is help me to send him over the edge.

When he checked in I told her to tell him there was no reservation for him and that he could probably find a hotel down the road. It might not be possible to get the whole family into the same hotel but she(the receptionist) had the names and phone numbers of all the local hotels.

now my sister thought I was playing Russian roulette with my life but come on, I had to do this. had to! well they arrived disheveled, disheartened and weary. not happy. like "kicked off" contestants returning from the TV show Survivor.

Yep...let the show begin.
So he approaches reception gives his name and waits for the room key.

"I am sorry Sir but there doesn't seem to be a reservation under that name" my brother is calm, interesting, new ."check under this name" " I am sorry sir there doesn't appear to be a reservation under that name either" pause from brother. blank stare . he is thinking. "hm" he says. "sir there are a lot of hotels down the road that would have a room for you, possibly not the whole family in one hotel but I have the names and phone numbers of all the local hotels" she says smiling in a grating cheerleader sing song voice. big smile...

Brother pulls pre-paid reservation documents out of his pocket. plants feet squarely. looks hotel receptionist straight in the eye, hands her the prepaid papers calmly but directly and says"look again.......please" She looks again." I am sorry sir" the receptionist says firmly but politely. the woman deserves an Oscar for her performance. He's thinking or maybe he's going to his "happy place" I am not quite sure but he's balancing precariously on the edge. a gentle sneeze will send him over . I am feeling guilty now. ( my mothers' fault) so he used to play tricks on me. that was a long time ago and now he has children and I don't want them to see him lose his rag . For the sake of the kids and I don't want the receptionist to feel the wrath of everyone elses mistakes . Hm what do I do? I see my sister out of the corner of my eye. she is nervous, biting her lip. "Okay"I say" It's a joke....................... I told her to say that. you have a room........hahahahahahahaha......funny eh? hahaha...ha...ha...ha..ha..............ha."

The "glare" not unlike the "mother glare" quiet anger. get out of my face now anger before I speak or do something I regret later anger.

He was okay with it. thought it was funny, I think. he was extremely nice the rest of the evening. hmmmm. very worrying. like the calm before the storm.

Think that tomorrow, before I get in my rental car I may have someone test the breaks ...just in case.

twas the night before presents

so we have just finished wrapping Christmas presents. The same thing every year. Wait till they finally sleep and we wrap. Yahoo.com has 24 hours Christmas songs so we listen and wrap. The most difficult part is every year H leaves carrots , reindeer food(wild bird seed) milk and a handmade present for Santa. Then she writes a 2 page disseration explaining who gets what .do you like my present, how is Mrs. Claus blah blah blah and always asks that he writes back. The writing back from Santa isn't too bad , it's the handwriting. She now demands a letter from the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny too! I am having difficulty making each letter have different handwiting. Not letting it look like my writing or the other "legendary figures"
every year I say I will get a friend to write Santa's reply and every year I forget.
The kids were extremely excited today tracking Santa on Norad (NORAD is the bi-national U.S.-Canadian military organization responsible for the aerospace and maritime defense of the United States and Canada). they also track Santa. very cool.
Am tired. Looking forward to tomorrow. love watching the kids rip open their prezzies. this year we gave in a bought a W ii. Wanted to charge up the handsets tonight so we could use them tomorrow morn and almost cried looking at the instructions. These were "putting the rechargable batteries in the handset" instructions. Nothing too tough. Man am I screwed for tomorrow. D is an engineer. I will let him figure it out. too tired.

Merry Christmas and Happy hannukh. or as mom sends the kids cards that say "happy hannumas"

Recipe for Guilt

Well nothing can kick start your writing like showing up at writing class today that ended last week. AAAAARGH! It makes me laugh cause all I wanted to do was stay home and isolate but I got my butt there cause class is fun and more important. Desperate for quiet I have not been alone for 2 weeks plus, my daughter was home with a cold and I haven't had a chance to get over my jetlag. Spent 5 days staying with my dad. my mom is in Florida for the winter.


Couldn't write my blog as my father has smoke signal computer with dial up internet which is slower than a frozen slug. Trying to explain to my almost 80 year old dad that he needs a new computer was more painful than changing tv channels by hand..with out a remote! so no computer.My father has basically stopped working and he is bored. My visit with him I think was the first bit of excitement he seemed to have had in months. I was sleeping on a Murphy bed in the living room. A murphy Bed for those who don't know, gets pulled down from of the wall. That way there is a bed for guests but room in the living room during the day. Most of our conversations went like this


. "are you up? let's put the bed back in the wall"( can't be done alone too big and heavy) "dad It is 7 30 in the morning. I am up for a pee and want to go back to bed. Please daddy I am all messed up with time and didn't sleep very well. I was up at 1am for 4 hours." "yes but If I am not here when you leave the bed will be open all day" " so? it is only you and me" I say. " I can't get to my computer" he says. "And...? Turn it on now and by the time I come home we will put the bed up and then you can use it" " no. too messy" " okay dad, let's put it up" 5 minutes later.....


"when are you getting back? should we take the bed down now?" " I don't know dad" "let's take it down" " but then the room will be messy" "But I don't want to have to wait up for you..." OY is a biggally way......au but!!!


The moment I arrived back here I was launched immediately into the school xmas fair. As vice-chair of the parents association( stop laughing) I felt I had to make up for the time lost as the fair was last wednesday, so I missed class last week...the the last class.

okay so it is not so much my parents association responsibilities that made me miss class and do anything possible to help with the fair but my Jewish guilt. Guilt that I was away for the first time in 5 years and I couldn't help for the most important time in preparing for the xmas fair.So when I came back I blew off every other responsibility to make up for lost time so no one would think I am a slacker. (guilt /shame)
You can replant the Jew in an area with nary another Jew in site but the guilt roots are still there no matter where you go. "just water with shame and guilt blossoms grow" it is just the way it is. Guilt is passed down from generation to generation, usually via the mother, like a good cake recipe except instead of flour, sugar , eggs and oil......you use a "handful of shame" , "3 pinches of not calling your grandmother for 3 months", a vat of "living with a non-Jew and having children but not being married "and a lot of "spilling french fry gravy on your mother's most expensive designer purse that you weren't allowed to borrow in the first place" which is her fault really because she has fabulous taste in handbags and doesn't buy cheap so I had no choice but to use an expensive one.

So I missed my class because of my mother...really.

(NB: that all "guilt" recipes have two things in common....always.....a Jewish Mother and blame on your parents.)
nb2: hand me down Jewish recipes do not have proper measurements. When I ask my mother what a "handful" of flour means ,she says "a handful." yes I say but whose hands?" "your grandmother had huge hands. " "A handful..you'll know" it always ends with " you'll know" no I don't know that is why I like to use step by step cook books with clear instructions and pictures.. I don't know.
the upside is if my food sucks I can always blame it on my mother.

.

saw Todd

Okay just a quickie. saw Todd last night. awesome. had to wait 2 and a half hours in the frezzing cold to get a photo of Todd with my Todd.s photo. worth it he loved my cookies. Missed my train. D had to come get me at waterloo with the kids at 2:30 in the morning.
going to bed then off to C for 5 days. will write from there I am bushed.

one more sleep

A few of my favorite lines from Todd songs


-the love between the ugly is the most beautiful love of all



-am I the only one to feel the sun exactly the way I do




-I want to change the world
I want to make it well
how can I change the world
if I can't change myself





-you are my weekness
you are my kryptonite



- how much I loved you
you'll never know
Til you join me within my dream



-You've got something that's a secret to the average eye
You've been saving something nobody's seen until now

http://www.myspace.com/toddrundgrenmusic


ONE MORE SLEEP. ONE MORE SLEEP. ONE MORE SLEEP. til the Todd concert . I hope I can sleep. I am so tired. been up since 5am. Listening all day to Todd except luch I had a Frank Zappa interlude. Made 6 batches of chocolate chip cookies for him. Last time too! He has it in his contract to have chocolate chip cookie back stage. last time his manager said he chucked the cookies they gave him and snarfed mine. He even asked me for the recipe...which I refused. sorry..it is secret. even I don't know it. I have it written down in code and do my best to not remember the ingredients in case I am tortured they will never get it out of me. Made some brownies for him too. I haven't had any sugar or wheat in over 6 months and had it today as I was tasting the dough. uggg. feel sick, high, fat . have been sugar zooming all day and just came down with a crash...but not enough to sleep. Besides D is sawing wood in bed. I will never sleep through that.

haven't seen Todd in 14 years. last time I was pen pal-ing through a fan club and 4 people from manchester came down and stayed with us to go see Todd in London. They seemed really nice. How bad can a Toddhead be? Appearantly...bad.....in a major effing unbelievably biggly way ...au but...to the max...squared. A few weeks after the concert one of the guys from manchester phoned to say this other guy had tried to kill his girlfriend. She was intensive care and he was in jail awaiting sentence. Last I heard he was in for 20 years. sca-arey. he folded the used towels so nicely too. hm you never know.

Sleep awaits now. Might have to sleep in T's room if D is snoring loudly. hope not I like my bed all 9/10ths of it.

todds song 82

I wrote this almost 30 years ago for Todd
I don't think I was in a very good headspace but I thought I would put it on the blog . I wanted to fix it but thought I would just post it as I wrote it

Contact by me as a teen not todd

If all the world could see
What you have done for me
Maybe they’d understand
I am not as crazy as could be

They say that they are listening
But all they do is hear
They say that they feel love
But I know that it is fear

All I need is contact
all i need is help
All i want is contact
All i want is help

If this is what it’s all about
if this is what they’re all about
Then maybe I should go
I know you don’t know me
But you do

You write your songs for me
You write them for my pain
I guess it’s not so bad
I shouldn’t really complain


All I need is contact
all i need is help
All i want is contact
All i want is help

Maybe if you knew who I was
maybe if you knew who I am
It would be easier to resist
But I guess I couldn’t cause here I am

Wherever I was
Whatever my thoughts
You never would go
You know who I am
That I know

All I need is contact
all i need is help
All i want is contact
All i want is help

H vs the Mominator

Have kept H home today. Doc says she is run down and could use a day of rest at home. Every morning it is a fight to get her up. Wrestling an alligator, pah, try getting an 8 year old dead weight log up and worse ...dressed. I pull the blankets off start to dress her and she does the “snatch, lift and turn” (grab a piece of blanket place it between knees or elbows , lift and half turn.over the blanket. this secures the blanket is locked firmly under and over you..I do this with D when I am freezing. He is hairy and his furry body will eventually adjust to the sub zero temp in our room. Like my room cold and the bed warm.)


NB I do not dress her very often as she is a big girl now and can do it herself but there are days if we want to get to school before her 15th bdy I dress her. sometimes I offer sweets for breakfast or money if they get dressed now and get to the kitchen table. when they get to the table and ask for their rewards I pretend I have no idea what they are talking about. they must have heard wrong, I didn't say money or sweets, I said honey or beets. sorry about the miscommunication but at least you are here at the table...2 more pennies in the pot..one for each .
So she does the snatch and turn before I can get half my body over her and lock my arms around her legs to stop this movement. Sometimes I win, sometimes I win better. Sometimes that “Carole Brady.(..from the Brady Bunch) persona that I aspire to just gets thrown out the window and the survivor in me takes over. The one that has to get to the goal no matter what...NO matter what. The “MOMINATOR”
All lights on, curtains open, window open. All blankets off, all stuffies off, all pillows off. Anything out of arms reach that will keep her warm and snugly in the bed. She will use anything she can to win this battle.
I think not. She has no idea who she is up against. The mominator has no compassion in the morning. I WAS EXACTLY THE SAME GROWING UP. Could stay up all night and sleep all day. I know all the tricks plus some. she cannot snow me.
Anyway because today she CAN sleep in, she is up at 7am with me. I don’t get it T is the same way. Can’t wake him up til the very last moment yet 7 am on Saturday morning he is downstairs watching cartoons. Why?> Why can’ t they get up at 7 am during the week. It would make everything so much easier. That’s why. Cause it is easier.
She was good today. Played on the computer doing math games. She must be ill she was actually quiet today...until tonight when she will be filled with beans.
Am tired today. It’s raining. So what else is new. I have been staying up late trying to finish the first half of my short story which is not so short cause I write more than I talk cause no one is interrupting me.
2 more sleeps til the Todd concert. Am soooo excited. Tomorrow I bake and bake and bake til the cookies are perfect. The kids will be the tasters. They don’t mind.


have to make a decent dinner now, D is back in town.

another penny in the pot

This morning H was whining that she didn't feel well and was tired. I was sure it was because she was still tired from a full day at the David Beckham Academy and football practice and P.E. yesterday. I wasn't my happiest with her this morning. She has been know to be "dying" before school starts but the moment I say okay she can stay home she miraculously recovers in jollier spirits than before.
well.....thought I would take her to the clinic to prove she was okay and she has a urinary tract infection and a virus in her throat.....me bad. think I'll put 2 pennies in the therapy pot this time.....oops.

As an aside I just found out the party I am going to next saturday night is not dressy but "jeans and glitter" my invite got lost in the mail...(it did really, no really it did, it did) so I didn't know this.All worked out for the best cause I'd have been horrified to enter the party room dressed at a grecian goddess to find everyone in jeans. slightly dissapointed that I may have to wait another 8 years to get dressed-up but I do glitter and jeans rather well...in a biggally way.
Have to once again beg forgiveness from one of my children and be extra special kind.
I will watch a chick-flick with her

a littel bit of this, a little bit of that

4 more sleeps til the todd concert. am tooooo excited. Can't take the kids so I am taking my neice V's best friend R. she is London for a few months. She's cool and expects to be embarassed. I seem to lose all normality when I am with him. Hence (my word of the month) stupid grin in the photo.

Have had an interesting week. started off in a great big hole. not a black hole or dark tunnel but a hole. saw the light but couldn't seem to figure a way out. did alot of talking and this is what I came up with

"YOUR HEAD IS LIKE A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD.DON'T GO INTO IT ALONE!!!!!" found the step ladder shoveled the shit that came out of my mouth into the hole and walked over it. sometimes it takes awhile for me to figure out .Even though it is unbelievably obvious I stiil have to bang my head against the wall. go through the wall start on the next wall then go "DUH" okay I am out. I had to decide then confront. yuk. confronting is icky in a " biggally" way. okay lets get this over with now as I love to use the word "biggly"
It is not a real word. Many years ago I was watching a local "whats happening about town" program. The interviewer asked thsi young portly man what he thought of the play. He said" it is really fun in a "biggally" way. well I just about lost my lunch I was laughing so hard. It is a lovely word and rather descriptive it fits with "way" and should be used together. as in the traffic is bad in a biggally way. he told her to get lost in a biggally way. now if you really want to emphasize the point you say "in a biggally way...au but ( sounds like "oh foot" with a B) au but is french canadian for "to the max"
like that guy is hot in a biggally way au but. please feel free to use it. I am trying to spread it around to get it into the dictionary. I was with quite a few people when we first heard it 16 years ago so it is spreading. though you may have to do the " no it's not a real word but.......then explain as in above"NB for extreme emphasis add "really" or any adverb?before "biggally way" but don't over use the "really or any adverb" cause then people think you get excited by simple stuff like applesauce and it loses its power...if biggally has any power.

Monday my friend Smiley girl took me shopping. I need three outfits for the parties I am going to next week back home. I have not bought a party outfit since H was born 8 years ago. i know this because someone commented on the spit -up on the back of my sparkly black top. I picked up H for a hug and she mini-spewed over my shoulder...blah blah blah

so my friend Smiley Girl took me shopping for party clothes. I am wearing a purple chiffon Marilyn Monroe(the grate blowing air) dress for saturday night. I have no shoes but I have the dress. It is awesome in a bigally way. It has a rhinestone brooch at the cleavage. I went to buy shoes after class today. thought it might not be a good idea as I was feeling "top of the world Ma, top of the world"

when I am in that state I can convince myself that the £300 patent silver CFMP's ( come fuck me pumps) are a great deal and I will wear them every day. They will go fabulous with the "70's more for your dollar" collar plastic see-through retro dress shirt dress I bought 20 years ago for .....( none of your business but I was working and skinny) amount of money. Clothes Shopping when I feel on top of the world is like food shopping when I am full. I have no reality persceptive. I buy nothing instant. Everything I buy is for a recipe that has 15 ingredients. something Paul Prudhomme , the cajun chef would make, ( someone gave me that book for my birthday years ago. opened it up looked at the table of contents for each recipe and though "re-gift.")II once went to the supermarket after having smoked the biggest joint with my friend Louisa and I ate our way through the aisles. I remember thes white cakes with blobs of caramel coated in chocolate. 6 to a pack. I think we ate 2 or 3 packs each.Then we were sugared out so we had to eat a bag of chips. Wise BBQ.salt and spicy. then we ate marshmallows. we got to the checkout and had nothing to show for our purchases but crumbs down our sweaters and empty bags and our diabetic sugar coma overdose state. was embarrassed and never went back there again. At least not being stoned. Cause when you're stoned you don't care what people think and conviently forget your previous humiliation because all you can think is "I NEED FOOD NOW!".If is wasn't nailed down we ate it. Aaah the good old days.
Okay once again I digressed. So I didn't buy £300 silver patent CFMP's but purple suede ones. Argh! they are so beautiful in a really biggally way au but!! They don't match my outfits but I don't care they were calling my name and they were on sale which makes a huge difference. sale means it's okay to make a stupid purchase.( d once bought a 50 pound bag of rice at Makro cause it was on sale for £5. Honey I said, we rarely eat rice. This is enough rice for 5 years at at a curry house. why did you buy a 50lb bag of rice? Because it was onsale for £5 and that is a great price., in a really biggally way. couldn't argue with him. a great price is a great price..even if the product is useless.

Next subject. The Todd Concert is 4 sleeps from now. did I say that already? I am working on a post about Todd so you all can catch the wave. I have to make him chocolate chip" little bits of heaven" cookies. I made them last time and he was very excited. He even asked me for the recipe which I said no cause no one knows the recipe. I don't even know it by heart after 35 years. I have it written down in code so if I am tortured you still can't get it out of me.
I am babbling on. I haven't written in awhile as our computer finally exploded...which is good I couldn't bear being shocked anymore. 'checking email' shocks are not the same as 'writing a blog' shocks.
we finally got a brand spanking new computer with a 22" screen.Holy Macaroni Batman. It's wild I tell you wild, whoohoolu
Okay my attack of writers diarreah is over. Laundry is ready for the drier...and please do not attempt to give me shit about the ozone and my honking big climate changing drier. I do more than my bit for the planet but lived 9 years with wet clothes hanging all over the house taking 2000 weeks to dry. Nope I love it. no dishwasher. DRIER. DRIER. DRIER. Besides D is coming come tomorrow and if it is dry now I can do the speed clean thing tomorrow as I am out most of the day doing PTA Christmas Fair stuff. love my drier in a "really biggally way au but" .........squared!

post found

back on air
back on air Hello I am finally back on. Had a bit of computer trouble. All is well D comes home tonight. good he reminds me of stuff I need to do. I write lists. lists of lists. lists of lists of lists. I have a diary calendar. Task alarm on my phone. reminder on my computer. I still forget. I usually write things on my hand in permanent marker so I don't forget but I still have to remember to remind myself to write on my hand. when I ask D to remind me to do something the moment it has come out of my mouth he says "don't forget to do......." hahahahahaha. Not funny at all. the only time he remembers is if it has to to with the kids which brings me back to D being home to remind my of stuff. I forgot T's assembly yesterday morn. OOPS! I felt bad and begged for forgiveness. you know what the sprog said? " don't worry mum, it's not the first time you've forgotten" stick the knife in. ooh that hurt. This is why I have what is called a RSTP. It is like a sort of a savings plan for the child for when the child is older for university or a car. Except my plan is slightly different. Mine is a RSTP. Registered Savings Therapy Plan. You see I feel my children will probably need therapy more than university so.... every time I do something bad as a mother I put a penny in the "therapy pot" so...because I forgot to go to his class assembly,in which he had a speaking part, I put a penny in the "therapy potPutting T in a dress when he was 18 months gets money in the pot. ( In my defense I nevver thought I would have a daughter and I wanted to put this sweet pink dress with ruffles and matching hat on my child. It was just unfortunate that my child was a boy. Now that is a secret deposit. Not sure if T will remember that but in case.....the money will be there. Leaving him in his car seat on top of the horizontal ice lolly dispenser. I drove home and realised he wasn't with me. he was a week old I wasn't used to having a child. I know there are lots more plus ones for H I just choose to repress and deny.
D is coming home tonight so I have been speed cleaning the house, so "it always looks like this " he just called to say he will be late appearantly he couldn't find his passport so he missed his flight. he had packed it in his suitcase. shades of my dad. maybe I did marry a man just like my dad???so he's late which means I can mess around on the computer, phone....and finish cleaning 30 mins before he gets home. puhlease I am not the only person who does this. my theory is if I do it someone else has to do it.going make dinner nowbe back laterH is crying. T put scotch tape in her hair and pulled it out as fast as he can. she wants to know what she can do for payback. As the youngest of 3 I have lots of suggestions but will not share them with her. like me she will have to learn these lessons on her own.Am listening to yahoo radio disco station and KC and the Sunshine Band is playing " that's the way I like it uh huh uh....." yeah babyokay H just got her revenge. can't tell you how but between you and me I am going to put a penny in "therapy pot"

12/11/08
by magpie
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!

O:M:G:!!!!! Today I finally wrote something of substance with a beginning a middle and an end and my blog dissapeared in cyberhell. I can't believe it. I feel sick. my late monday didn't post either. i can not believe it. aaaaack! FUCK!!! I think I have to copy and paste each blog and put in my documents. oy. feel sick.

night

almost 10 at night and H is still awake. perhaps I need to have her run behind the car as we drive to get her tired. No matter what she does or what time she gets up she still likes to go to bed late. an 8 year old night owl.yik!
I had a great day. watched tv. desperate housewives and the shopping channel for sparkly jewelry. that was fun. I have never watched the shopping channel before.( my battery is almost out on my laptop so if the blog ends in the middle of a sentence you know why) OW shocked again. stupid old computer.
so I watched a jewelry show and then this cool show about a clothes dryer that you hang your clothes up on the square leveled thg then place acover over it and plug in. It blows hot air around your clothes rather than tumble dry which appearantly is the wrong thing to do. tumble drying creates pilling(bobbling) and removes material from your clothes which is the stuff in your lint tray. this is bad I've learned. Lint bad.

monday and free

13 days to the Todd concert. Just found out on concert site that it states. "over 14's and under 16's with an adult. will call the Forum later to make sure H and T can go. didn't think about rating just pressed 4 tkts and WHOOHOOLU!!!!!!

so it's monday and all is quiet in the house. D is out of town for 3 days and the kids are at school. D has been home for 10 days. He usually travels 20 days out of the month so I am used to space. Especially the bed. we have a Kingsize bed. I get 9/10ths of it D gets the rest. When he's out of town I get it ALL!! Also I like to read in bed and he hates the light on. I bought a book light but it is not the same. I can't seem to read alot. Before kids and d I used to read almost a whole book in bed. Staying up till 4 in the morning. ppassing out cause I couldn't read another word. Bliss.
Also I can also feed the kids crap if I want when he is out of town. I don't mean crap crap but noodles + peas rather than a full 3 course meal. I have always been a bad eater and I struggle with coming up with excited meals. actually I make the kids good stuff. Roast chicken mashed potatoes,meatballs fish. They also like noodles only...something D is not keen on. By the time D gets back home I am fed up with cooking. He usually gets manky meals
Not that I don't love him + want to see him and cook for him but he is home all day every day working when he is in town. It is having someone in the house with me all the time. Not that I am doing anything illegal or disgusting but I like quiet. I also like having days where I do NOTHING!!! without feeling guilty.
I shall do a bit of homework, finish beading my bracelet then watch TV. the downstairs tv is huge and we can record shows so I can watch 2 weeks of Desperate Housewives without commercials.

I have to say I am having a bit of a problem with the new season of DH. Susan's new love interest Jackson used to be in one of my fave shows Queer As Folk. , about gay men in Pittsburgh(though filmed in Toronto.) He was the main character and brilliant as Brian Kinney so to see him as Susan's lover is weird and wrong. Appearantly the DH ratings were slipping and they want new viewers so the gay men demographic is what they chose. I watch it but can' help seeing Jackson in other situations. I just wish she would get back together with Mike. Listen I am in the UK I think 5 or 6 shows behind North America so don't anybody call me up and tell me anything about what is happening.

I do watch religiously, 30 Rock. This has to be the brilliant show on TV. Alec Baldwin was made for the part and I consider myself to be just like Tiny Fey...my idol. I love Kenneth and he is one of the people I would like to have at my "ultimate dinner party"

like if you could invite anyone. dead or alive????+

Todd Rundgren

Mr. Zeigfield( of the follies)

Jimi Hendrix

Eleonor Roosevelt

Kenneth and Tina Fey from 30 Rock

Charles Laugton

Jimmy Stewart

Ellen Degeneres

my friend Dave R

My old teacher Mary Blodgett

Golda Mier

Brad Pitt

Russell Crowe

Oprah (cause she'd bring a great gift probably food and she's nice)

My best friend Maranj and her parents

my grandma Betty

my family

JFK and Jackie

I think Aristotle Onassis but I would have to keep him and JFK apart

Julie Walters she is my fave actress

Joey + chandler from friends...in character

Derek Edwards a brilliant candian comic

my friends clever girl, head on her shoulders, sissy-poop, F,H,S,R

Win B

annie Liebowitz(she can take pics)
my whole family of course cause they are all entertaining
jello in every flavour will be served by Bill Cosby

and more I'll get back to you on this along with a adding to my hell list.

so It's raining and I am happy. I hate slothing around when it is sunny. Makes me fell like I should be doing something productive which I will NOT be doing except for homework. Almost finished the short story. Actually it is quite good written from 2 points of view.

will be back but now

homework with a 10 year old

I am beading a bracelet as T does his homework. I have to sit at the table while he works to make sure he actually produces something. Beading dilutes the slow painful erosion of my happy sunday soul. Everytime he has to do homework I want to slit my wrists with a spoon. It has to be less painful than this . AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!! something else to do in hell. Homework with a 10 year old boy. All he has to do is copy.....not create.....but COPY Shakespeare's sonnet 18. " Shall I compare thee to a summers day......." 2 hours and all he has written is 10 lines. He has said " what time is it? I am hungry, I am sleepy, my toe hurts. what time is it?. close the book.open the book. close the book. open the book. sharpen pencil. stare at pencil. chew on pencil. flick pencil. find pencil. look for sharpener. stand up. sit down. stand up. walk around. what you doing? what time is it? sigh. what time is it? What time is it? What time is it?What time is it? space out .look at the ceiling. look at floor. stick finger in nose. inspect snot. roll and flick snot. sigh. stare at ceiling. stare at pencil again...? what time is it?
DONE!!!! Yippee.

great now I can go back to beading. It is sunday. laundry almost done. house tidy. raining. beading then a snooze. D is taking T out to T's boys club. H is reading and eating a Granny smith apple.

hell and rain

14 days til the Todd concert!!!!!
Stopped raining....FINALLY! Sky is blue. AAAAAAH: find it hard to get motivated when the sky is lazy grey.16 years ago, when I moved to the UK, every time it rained I put on my pyjamas watched a movie and ate popcorn. By the way popcorn is not a skinny food I gained 20 pounds. Though eating 6 cups a day + chocolate buttons might not be a Weight Watchers recommendation.
After 6 months D said to to me " It's raining, it rains alot here. Get dressed. Get out of the house and GET ON WITH IT!!!! ( he didn't yell at me. he never yells. he is english and reserved. the first time we had sex I thought "oh yah baby that was amazing. WOW."it was rather fiery, I asked D what he though and he said "Hm lovely." so he didn't yell but said it with a bit more feeling than "pass the butter, please.....but not much more. I joke but I love D. He's just extremely different to me. I am "wheeeee how exciting, whoo hoo, how pretty and sparkly, shiny oooooooooo and he is "hm lovely".
OK had to get up to wash dishes and do a load of laundry and the sky tricked me. It is NOT blue anymore but white an early stage to lazy grey.
Have so much to do today. D is out of town for 3 days tomorrow and have to get school clothes washed, kids and my homework done and tidy the house so it is clean for the week and I can ignore ,avoid and procrastinate doing housework for another 7 days.
I think housework belongs in the
"WHAT I BELIEVE IS HELL " list. Like
-filling icecube trays,
-listening to fishing or golf on the radio.
-making photocopies and stapling them together
-vacuming
-only baths.
-people who don't park properly in a designated space.
-who don't get as close as possible to the car in front or behind when parking on the road
-dating men with hair on their back
-requirement by law to wear white shoes with black tights all year long
-the only song on the radio is Feelings played on the harp or pan pipe
-the only word to come out of peoples mouth is "mummy" but not just mummy but MUMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE in a whiney campaigning "I'm going to die right now if you don't listen to me voice" the vocal version of a dogs eyes at the dinner table. you know the eyes" please feed me I haven't been fed in years and if you give me just one little scrap I will be okay and I will never beg for anything again...I promise...pleeeeeeeeease just one teeny weeny beeny little scrap from your table. you have so much and i am only a dog,your best friend. I love you no matter what even when you fart and blame it on me...pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeese one measly taste."
Which brings me back to Mummeeeeeeeeeee if you buy me this I promise I won't ask for anything ever again. ever. ever. I promise. really this time I promise....ever again.
Okay so I digressed somewhat. I am not cranky and not everything bugs me. So much more to write about hell but might I say in Heaven there is Jello with every meal.
I have to go and DO something now H and T are both awake...no more quiet am now launched into my day.

pouring out

It's pouring out and the main fireworks have stopped. This is the second time H has been out in the rain today. D took her and his brother in law and nephew to a football game this aft. in the rain. They stood for 2 hours cause no one wanted to fork out £2 for seats. hmmmmmm. I am going to run a bath cause H and T will be freezing. D is hairy and British and never feels the cold. The only times I ever remember him wearing a winter coat was at Niagara Falls in the winter and a couple of times in Newfoundland when we were living there. Just as an aside I think St. John's Newfoundland is the armpit of Canada. It is at the end of the earth then take a ferry for 7 hours then drive for a day and a half then you've reached St. John's. Bleach Feh.....not in the mood but will get into it one day....OW! Bloody computer. OOOOH more fireworks. I think that's a neighbor though. I am eating this scrummy fruit bar. It's called Naked...wildly different. Raw fruit nut and out bar. I don't eat sugar or wheat anymore but still need my sweet fix so there you have it.


Okay I have to go cause I also have to read a story for class. I hope it isn't boring as my attention span is that of a doorknob. It's called the Resplendent Quetzal. Man I don't even know what a Quetzal is...do you? At least a Canadian wrote it...how bad can it be?

homework

This is my homework assignment for class. start a blog. write write write anyway you can. that's what Anna says. Ok so I am watching the local Guy Fawkes fireworks from my backyard. D is pissed at me cause he had to take the kids on his own. But....it is raining and cold and I have no desire to be cold and wet and listen to the children campain for sweeties and money for crappy fairground stall games besides I am in my pyjamas...happy and warm. whoosh that was a long sentence. I am having problems writing on this computer. it is on it's last leg and my left wrist rests on the speaker(a laptop) and I keep getting shocked. (if I stop writing this blog it is not because class has ended but because I have been fried but my shitty computer. We are waiting for the Xmas sales to get a brand new super duper mega cool gaming computer. The kids are at the age of playing more than Dora the Explorer but not Tomb Raider so we need a better computer. Also we are no no( wow the fireworks are LOUD and awesome. Red, blue white big puffy balls. OW...just got OW shocked. The last one reminded me of Christmas in Florida. Palm trees covered in white fairy lights...I don't think so. Christmas without snow is wrong..It just ain't right I tell you. It's like peanut butter without jelly, a bagel without creamcheese, beans without farting. It is the way it is supposed to be. My friend "bright girl" has only farted once. We have been friends for 30 years and OW OW OW she has only farted once. I have the day and time written down somewhere , in a box which I have not unpacked yet and won't tonight cause it is cold and rainy but one day I will...
15 days until the Todd Rundgren concert. Am sooooooooooooo excited. I am what is called a "Todd is god" fan. Sort of like a Dead Head but there aren't as many fans of Todd as the Grateful Dead. I love his music so much I named my son after him. How cool...maybe not cool is that????? I love Todd Rundgren. Think this is my 12th?15? time seeing him. This time is way different cause I am taking the kids. I can't wait for Todd to meet Todd. The photo is from the last time I saw him and met him 14 years ago. But was I excited? I was but was Todd?