florida

made it finally. the weather is rocking. warm and sunny, something I have not experienced for 5 years. tis awesome. The heat washes over you as soon as you step outside of the air conditioned airport. 10pm low 70s . arrived at airport had to wait 3 hours for sissy. didn't realise that she was in a diff terminal. she arrived but her luggage didn't. her flight was 2 hours late out of Montreal almost missed her 2ND flight.. but had to basically fly through the Philadelphia airport if she wanted to catch her connecting flight. She had to do an OJ Simpson Hertz thing.(..old TV commercial where he runs through the airport to catch his flight, not a quick murder and assault thing) .

went to pick up rental car, waited in line for 25 minutes.Floridians are so slow. not laid back but slllllllllllllooooooooooooooow!The car rental man behind the desk is kibitzing, chatting with two posers who had each rented convertibles. Yah, yah I am sorry that you are at the beginning of the crap shift of midnight to 6 am and you would like to be these young swinging guys who have just begun their 2 week babe searching holiday in the sun.And that you think if you talk to them long enough somehow you will magically morph into them and you won't have to ever have to eat a microwave meal for breakfast at 10pm ever again. STOP TALKING!!! I AM TIRED! WE WANT ARE CAR NOW!!!!!!!

Our turn. Okay breathe and pray. Don't get angry. Just hand over the pre paid car rental forms and get out of here. He now has to file the previous customers forms. Shuffle, pause, think. Open desk drawer. Pause, think. Shuffle. close desk drawer. think. look around. ignore us. look in desk drawer again. get pen shuffle back to counter. wait forgot something..turn around before he gets to the counter where we are standing, go back to desk. get stapler out of desk drawer..slower...he is thinking. close desk drawer shuffle up to counter. AAAAAAARGH!

I know he started his day an hour and a half ago but I started out 24 hours ago and my sister has no luggage and SPEED IT UP!! "hello" he drawls."Hello" sissy and I say together. hand over papers. He smiles. "how are you this evening?" there is something about his smile and the speed at which he talks which immediately diffuses our anger and replaces it with teenager giggles. heeheeheehee" fine thank you and yourself?"Pause....."good" Hand over drivers licenses. "which state has the pretty pink license?" "Ah that would be me., heeheehee," blush" UK license." What state is the UK in?" This is going to take longer than I thought. Way longer. "the UK across the Atlantic ocean? England? Scotland? Wales? and Northern Ireland?" Blank stare. Is that near California? pause. "yes I say, between California and Minnesota" if this will speed up the process then I will tell him anything so we can GET OUR CAR and GO HOME!! the laid back- Floridian-happy smile thing is losing its power. We are tired. and sweaty funny though as tired as we were we could not stop giggling.

We have pre-paid for a shoe-box on wheels.A teeny tiny compact. the man behind the desk took a shining to us and offered us a fancy convertible instead. "no thank you "I said" I don't want to be murdered. He then gave us a 'grown up' car. a luxury Cadillac type thing. something a 'pimp' would drive. it is huge. I am mean huge in a bigally way. Real leather not child friendly pleather crap.( see above. couldn't figure out how to move the pic down here)

arrived at hotel and had valet park for us cause we were wiped out at 2:30 am (7;30 am my time). he parked for us but charged us for self park and parked us in self park so yesterday we spent half an hour looking for where our car was parked. oh and p.s. not such a big thing the fancy car. EVERYONE seems to drive the same car in....the same color....at the same hotel.

spent the day at the pool and came back to room and got ready for my brother's arrival.okay so my brother was supposed to arrive at 5pm from L.A. their flight was delayed 5 hours but ended up sitting in the plane on the runway the whole time. By the time they finally took off the four of them were starving. apparently the airline ran out of food the row in front of them. so when they landed 5 hours late all they wanted was food. A slice of pizza ( my sister-in -law's dream food) would have to do cause they wanted their rental car and to get on their way to the hotel. so at the car rental place they were told their car had been given away. My brother had not prepaid, only reserved. they were 5 hours late...and to top that, there are no more cars available anywhere. they hopped in a cab resigned to going back to the hotel and going to bed angry and hungry.

Now for most our lives my brother and I have been playing tricks on each other. He's in the lead, I'm in the lead, he's in the lead.... Here was a golden opportunity. I felt it right, no I felt it my duty, to play a trick on him and put me back in the lead.

I had the hotel receptionist play a an joke........ When I say joke what I mean is help me to send him over the edge.

When he checked in I told her to tell him there was no reservation for him and that he could probably find a hotel down the road. It might not be possible to get the whole family into the same hotel but she(the receptionist) had the names and phone numbers of all the local hotels.

now my sister thought I was playing Russian roulette with my life but come on, I had to do this. had to! well they arrived disheveled, disheartened and weary. not happy. like "kicked off" contestants returning from the TV show Survivor.

Yep...let the show begin.
So he approaches reception gives his name and waits for the room key.

"I am sorry Sir but there doesn't seem to be a reservation under that name" my brother is calm, interesting, new ."check under this name" " I am sorry sir there doesn't appear to be a reservation under that name either" pause from brother. blank stare . he is thinking. "hm" he says. "sir there are a lot of hotels down the road that would have a room for you, possibly not the whole family in one hotel but I have the names and phone numbers of all the local hotels" she says smiling in a grating cheerleader sing song voice. big smile...

Brother pulls pre-paid reservation documents out of his pocket. plants feet squarely. looks hotel receptionist straight in the eye, hands her the prepaid papers calmly but directly and says"look again.......please" She looks again." I am sorry sir" the receptionist says firmly but politely. the woman deserves an Oscar for her performance. He's thinking or maybe he's going to his "happy place" I am not quite sure but he's balancing precariously on the edge. a gentle sneeze will send him over . I am feeling guilty now. ( my mothers' fault) so he used to play tricks on me. that was a long time ago and now he has children and I don't want them to see him lose his rag . For the sake of the kids and I don't want the receptionist to feel the wrath of everyone elses mistakes . Hm what do I do? I see my sister out of the corner of my eye. she is nervous, biting her lip. "Okay"I say" It's a joke....................... I told her to say that. you have a room........hahahahahahahaha......funny eh? hahaha...ha...ha...ha..ha..............ha."

The "glare" not unlike the "mother glare" quiet anger. get out of my face now anger before I speak or do something I regret later anger.

He was okay with it. thought it was funny, I think. he was extremely nice the rest of the evening. hmmmm. very worrying. like the calm before the storm.

Think that tomorrow, before I get in my rental car I may have someone test the breaks ...just in case.